The Internet is the new frontier. It's the modern day 'old west' which needs to be settled in a similar manner to the original old west. Only then will it become civilised and safe for ordinary honest folks.
Remember the old west? Where men were men and women like Greedygirl wore cheap toilet water, fishnet stockings, black lace petticoats and worked in dance halls and saloons?
In this new frontier, websites are cybertowns and places like GoneGamblingburg have sprung up over night. GoneGamblingburg offers overnight refuge to the weary cybertraveller or just a watering hole to those visitors who are passing through looking for greener pastures.
The founders of these frontier cybertowns are a mixture of honest, hardworking law abiding folk, con men and some are even downright crooks. Naturally, some cybertowns have grown and flourished and others have been abandoned forever. The abandoned are left to collect cyberdust. Often a pair of Greedygirl's dirty old bloomers can be seen tumbling down wind swept main street. Cybertravellers need to beware of where they stop for the night lest they find themselves among card sharks or mouse thieves. Worse still, they could find themselves clamped between the legs of Greedygirl's old bloomers while she's still in them! The most unsavoury of these frontier cybertowns also host the least trusted casinos.
Frequently, while still small and vulnerable, the more prosperous and law abiding frontier cybertowns are subjected to raids from rogue cyberoutlaws. Cussing and swearing like Greedygirl during sex they come galloping in on their mouse hell bent on causing trouble and mischief. Where they find no law and little resistance they move in and take over the whole cybertown. This is well documented by the demise of some of the Easyboard Towns. Several started off being built on wonderful foundations but couldn't keep growing whilst under constant attack from cyberoutlaws. Eventually, all the good folks were driven out of many of the Easyboard Towns and they were left to rot.
GoneGamblingburg has suffered numerous raids of the kind outlined above. Fortunately, Sheriff John has been able to ward off the attacks of cyberoutlaws and maintain the peace for the good upstanding citizens. Sheriff John's main form of defence is in his placing UNWANTED posters around GoneGamblingburg. These posters expose the dirty rotten cyberoutlaw varmints to the whole world for the type of people they really are. UNWANTED posters are a wonderful deterrent when it comes to fighting cyberoutlaws.
Sheriff John won't tolerate any crap! Beware the cyberoutlaw who comes totin' his unholstered tongue into GoneGamblingburg. Many have tried and many have died. The bones of countless numbers of cyberoutlaws are bleaching in the sun down at the GG Corral. If only they had kept their tongues in their holsters. If they had abided by the rules of GoneGamblingburg there wouldn't have been any need to come up against Sheriff John in a violent tongue fight. Cyberoutlaws be warned, when Sheriff John draws his tongue it will spit fire faster than the recycling guy can get into Greedygirl's bloomers!
Honest citizens of GoneGamblingburg really only have one rule to remember. That rule is that if you have a problem with one of the casinos in GoneGamblingburg, you should first give Sheriff John a chance to sort the problem out before shooting up the town with your tongue! A smart man would rather have Sheriff John with him than agin him!
Links to the most recent Tongue Fights appear below. Click on the link to visit the UNWANTED poster about each Tongue Fight.
Tongue Fight #01 Threats of legal action from this varmint came to nothing. This in itself proves that you can't take any notice of what this varmint says. Apparently this varmint was speaking with a forked tongue.
Tongue Fight #02 Sheriff John was too fast on the draw for this misguided pilgrim. She has since ridden her mouse back to the badlands from whence she came.
Tongue Fight #03 Another tongue totin' trouble maker tries to shoot Sheriff John in the back. However, Sheriff John was too fast and a spray of rapid fire facts from Sheriff John's tongue resulted in this trouble maker being dragged off to Boot Hill.
Tongue Fight #04 This misguided cowgirl accused Sheriff John of emailing her a link to the lotto page and then changing the link so she couldn't get the page. Yep, pretty ridiculous thing to accuse anyone of, but it all happened here at GoneGamblingburg. She then threatened to forward Sheriff Johns emails to her friends in an effort to badmouth GoneGamblingburg. Guess when she sobers up she'll see just how silly her emails make her look. By her own admission she takes a drink or two!
Tongue Fight #05 An Onion Trainer email sent automatically by the GoneGambling program was the trigger for this latest showdown. An aggrieved cowgirl claimed she was insulted by the email and that GoneGamblingburg appeared to be nothing but a scam to her. Sheriff John set the gal straight by letting her know what a real insult was.
Tongue Fight #06 A desperado trying to get her membership back threatened to post negative comments about GoneGamblingburg at Forums and Bulletin Boards on the Net. These pathetic desperados should learn that Sheriff John won't bow down to threats. In fact their threats most often have the opposite effect to the one they desire.
Tongue Fight #07 This filly from Canada tried to tell Sheriff John what his job was. That was a big mistake and one she won't try again in a hurry.
Tongue Fight #08 Moron mania came to GoneGamblingburg when this guy with a bad attitude and no brains signed up for membership. There is no excuse for stupidity and rudeness. Sheriff John treated this guy just the way he deserved to be treated - like the moron he is.
Tongue Fight #09 Honesty is the best policy when dealing with Sheriff John. The Sheriff knows all the stages and tactics a cheat will use to proclaim his or her innocence. Becoming indignant about being caught and then trying to transfer the guilt and blame back on to the Sheriff is just the first stage. The Sheriff let this little cow girl keep her membership because she confessed in the end.
Tongue Fight #10 Did you hear about the two monkeys who were painting a house? One worked on the front and the other worked on the back. After 2 hours the one who was working around the back came around to the front...
Tongue Fight #11 This cowgirl lost her membership due to cheating. She is nothing but a compulsive liar and cheat with little or no remorse for what she has done. She's not really sorry she did it. She's just sorry she got caught for it.
Tongue Fight #12 This cheating member wanted her membership back in such a bad way that she admitted she would own up to anything if it got her what she wanted. Sadly it also proved that she would continue cheating if that was going to get her what she wanted. People like this are not wanted in GoneGamblingburg.
Tongue Fight #13 Money is not the object when it comes to crediting bonuses won on the GoneGambling site. This cowgirl foolishly made the mistake of thinking the Sheriff was trying to get out of paying a $25 casino bonus when he pointed out that she didn't follow the rules to qualify for the bonus. She called him on it and the Sheriff banned her and then sent her $90 to prove that it wasn't the money that mattered - it was the rules.
Tongue Fight #14 It could have been so easy for this old cowgirl. She chose to clutter the issue up with stuff that didn't matter instead of providing stuff that did matter for the Sheriff to look into her problem. She couldn't handle the Sheriff laying it on the line. Naturally she threatened to send the letters that Sheriff John had sent her all over the Net. Of course threats like that only affect people who care! Sheriff John doesn't care for threats.
Tongue Fight #15 This member displayed signs of idiocy that are beyond the comprehension of a normal person. Of course when Sheriff John told her she was an idiot she didn't take it well and started emailing casinos left right and center. It didn't do her any good though and it didn't do GoneGambling any harm. After all, who takes notice of an idiot?
Tongue Fight #16 Wow! What an original thought. This member decided that threatening to post what Sheriff John had emailed them would frighten him into submission. Of course it's only about the 700th email of that kind that the Sheriff has received. So, as is the case with some of the 'extra special nut cases' who make these threats, the Sheriff posts the full correspondence for the whole world to see. When will they ever learn that every email written by the Sheriff is done so with the thought in mind that it will most likely end up being posted on this and other sites.
Tongue Fight #17 Harassing phone calls and abusive emails resulted in this ex-member having a complaint filed against him with the police in his home town. He discovered that attacking the integrity of GoneGambling wasn't as easy as he first thought. It had some terrible side effects for him to deal with.
Tongue Fight #18 A lesson for everyone. When dealing with people on the Internet they may not be in your time zone, so demanding an immediate response is futile and childish. The Sheriff set this cowgirl straight.
Tongue Fight #19 Just another selfish outsider riding into GoneGamblingburg from out in the wastelands. His threats to do harm and spread the bad word about GoneGamblingburg caused him to be banned after just four days of residency. Nothing will get you kicked out of GoneGamblingburg faster than threatening to mouth off and give the town a bad name just to get your own way.
Tongue Fight #20 And the dead shall rise again and Gift their GG Points to the living alter egos they left behind. Be very careful who and what you believe you are being told in Internet Chat Rooms. All may not be as it seems. Death and illness are great emotional levers to use get people to part with their hard earned money. Don't fall for it. The Sheriff has busted many corpses for being alive when they should have been dead.
Tongue Fight #21 To the best of our ability, we don't do anything wrong or anything that would be embarrassing to our business at GoneGambling. And THAT is the reason why threats don't work against us. Threats only work if the person or business being threatened cares or fears for the consequences. At GoneGambling we take much pleasure in exposing people who issue threats against us. We live for it. It gives us the opportunity to point out the flaws in their weak characters. We are also well within our rights to deride them in response to a threat. Threats are only issued by spoilt little brats whose parents failed to raise them to understand that they can't have their own way all the time. It's a shame that some of these spoilt little brats are now in their 40's, 50's and 60's though. The added benefit for GoneGambling in going public on these threats is that posts that make it onto other websites bring in dozens more visitors than they turn away.
See our Banned and Suspended members list here. This list is only for the past three days.
Don't throw away your GoneGambling membership because of impatience and a bad temper. Heed this very important GONEGAMBLING MEMBERS WARNING.