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By The Duck - Newsletter - Week of April 17, 2015

GreedyGirl

Pickled Onion
I'm not all that happy about it, but The Duck wrote this week's newsletter. Enjoy the read as I go find a bottle of booze to drink...and a razorblade for my wrists! :crazy:


Dear ,

Quack-quack.

It’s me. The Duck. I’ve once again flown in to save Greedyswamp’s feathers. It’s a thankless job and an unending one at that!
It seems that this time, Greedyjerk has had some sort of a mental meltdown. Who knew this birdbrain HAD a mind? Seemed shocking to me, but I digress.

Greedyidiot was last heard chirping, “I can’t handle it! It’s just too much!”

Oh, boo-hoo!

Now in fairness, Greedymold has recently had more in her henhouse than she’s used to dealing with. While that hunky Casinomeister-guy (he’s so cool, he also owns GoneGambling!) had flown the coop for a while on holiday, Greedyshnook tried to keep GoneGambling members happy without the basics: emails! And while I’m on the subject of Casinomeister, why is it that so many birds swoon over this guy?

Back to Greedysnot.

Once Casinomeister returned to his home-nest, of course, he fixed the email trouble. That’s what the ruler of the roost does, right? You’d have thought Greedymoron would be happy again, but no.

Seems her fiancé isn’t nearly as cool as that hunky Casinomeister-guy. Casinomeister would NEVER have gotten into a nasty motorcycle accident, shearing off 30% of his skin and destroying a lovely Harley Davidson, would he? Well, that’s exactly what Greedyoaf’s cock did (how’s that for a pun, huh? Cock? I deserve some anchovies for that one!).

I do feel badly for Greedytwit’s fiancé, though. I mean, imagine being hooked up with that bird! I’m guessing the day of his accident, he was trying to fly far, far away from Greedyvulture. Now the poor guy is stuck having his feathers tended to by the very Greedypigeon he was trying to flee from!

Of course, this stuff is exactly why Greedygrump is melting down. She’s been seen running around like a chicken with her head cut off. She’s been tweeting (not at that Twitter place, but in general) about how overwhelmed she is. Apparently one of her fiance’s flock is getting hitched out of state next week and Greedymunch has yet to make any sort of arrangements for travel or hotel. I don’t get it. Why not just fly? (Another cunning pun!)

Greedytroll has also been going a-fowl because she’s not getting enough sleep. Seems her fiancé’s wounds are keeping him awake and in turn, keeping Greedystupid awake. I almost feel badly for her. I mean, Greedyloon is doing her best to nurse Joe back to health, but let’s face it, she’s no Florence Nightengale! (Nightengale. Get it? I really quack myself up sometimes!)

With all of this, Greedygross has been flying around as if she’s had a wing cut off. You know, flying around in circles! And because of this, her brain is operating at a minimum. Like bird poop.

And as one would expect, The Duck swoops in to save the day!

CASINO OF THE WEEK

I have no idea what is in Greedydoofus’ head for the Casino of the Week. Hell, I don’t even know what a Casino of the Week IS, for Duck’s sake!

I’m just going to say that ANY casino you can find in the Auction Room, Greedyshmoe will TRIPLE the deal! I’ll be sure to let Greedyignoramus know. And I’ll also be sure to make a quick fly-away out of here when I do!

This means that whether you are opening a new account or making a repeat deposit, you’ll get three times whatever the Auction offer is. Now THERE’S something to crow about!

This offer will be good until Friday, April 24, 12:01 AM, EDT.


TOURNAMENT NEWS

Greedytwirp keeps parroting about this Bounty thing for the Tournament Triathlon she has going. Something about the May Triathlon (beginning May 1st) having 6.5 Million GG’s and $650 in iNetBet casino cash. Not sure what that means, but it doesn’t sound like bird seed to me!

All I know is that there are two Tournaments this weekend, so while I’m flying off for the weekend, this is likely what you’ll be doing:

MOON ROCKET Tournament for Individuals - begins Friday, 1AM, EDT

KIDNAPPED Team Tournament - begins Saturday, 1AM, EDT

Each Tournament runs three days.

MEMBER OF THE WEEK

I’m guessing Greedywitch will be very happy I’ve chosen ggirl to be GoneGambling’s latest Member of the Week. This ggirl chick has been around GG (so many GG’s in this section!) for a very long time and it would appear she’s a pretty loyal bird. I see her posting and she seems to be a hen I’d like to flock to, so I’m going to give her the bling. Congrats to you, ggirl!

SOUPER ONION'S GAME OF THE WEEK

Souper Onion is going crazy over Horse Racing, as this week's Game of the Week! Now is your chance to win more often! The Racing Game costs nothing and you'll have more games available! Play every 10 minutes for more chances to win!


COMING NEXT WEEK

I’m not certain what’s up Greedydope’s wing, but the word is she’s preparing some sort of “State of GG” address. I know it’s going to appear in next week’s newsletter, although I don’t know much more about it. Greedymomo seems to think it will be interesting reading, but if you don’t agree, you can always use it to line your birdcage!

MY FINAL SQUAWK

As The Duck, I’m impressed by little. I have to say, however, I’m quite impressed by the new GoneGambling forum. If you haven’t yet seen it, you should really fly by and see what’s ruffling my feathers (in a good way, for a change!). This will be a good weekend to check out the coop, because Greedypiece has said she’ll be doing some sort of Competitions in the forum, which I guess means the flock will be winning stuff.

And now, I must bid you all adieu. It’s time for me to fly off to Florida, where there’s a pond-full of hottie Flamingos just waiting to have some good Duck lovin’!


Laters!
The Duck
 
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