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Twelve Days of Christmas Day 5

DEEDEEMOE

Super Moderator
Dear GG Member,

Yes, it's me the Duck again. I am still here.

Fox News reports that Greedyspreaditaround has been found. Apparently an aircraft carrier docked at San Francisco and Greedylegsinair visited the docks to spread some Christmas cheer and love among the sailors - all ten thousand of them. Not a lot of people know this but Greedysexaddict is actually classified as a friendly port by seven different Navies. This must be true as I saw it on Fox.

Anyway, Greedyboobs is on her way home and will be back in the drivers seat tomorrow, although it beats me how she can even sit down after what she has been up to!

And what of the email sent by Deedeemoe? I have gotten to the bottom of it. It was just Deedeemoron trying to extort money to supplement the pittance of a wage she is paid by Greedyscrooge. Deedeedipstick mistakenly thought that John the Janitor would care enough about Greedymissinginaction to pony up a few dollars for information leading to her return. Not a chance. John the Janitor is too busy combing his two remaining hairs and brushing his one tooth in anticipation of the arrival of a new little French girl who is coming to work in his garden for a week.

I'm not sure if this is accurate, but Fox News also had an item about a Drunken Santa being arrested in New York City several days ago. This could explain why our Drunken Santa was arrested.

According to Fox, this lecherous Drunken Santa had just had a new erectile pump fitted to his north pole. He then pumped it way up past the recommended pressure and went out into the street to harass elderly ladies.

According to the reporter, Drunken Santa allegedly staggered up to a group of three old ladies sitting on a bench seat, dropped his pants and exposed himself to them. Unfortunately, two of the ladies had strokes. The third old lady missed out on having a stroke because she couldn't reach. The stroking of the over inflated candy cane caused it to explode. Much to Drunken Santa's dismay, bits flew off in all directions. It was reported that it caused the closure of the intersection of Madison Avenue and East 67th Street for over 2 hours as police and paramedics retrieved the missing pieces.

Fox went on to report that Drunken Santa was undergoing micro surgery under police guard at an undisclosed hospital.

I am sure that Greedyhotoffthepresses will have updated information for you tomorrow.

For now, I'm left to deal with GoneGambling's Twelve Days of Christmas (Day Five) gift and because no one is watching the hen house, I'm giving you two Casino GetLucky's!

Happy holidays!


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