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Twelve Days of Christmas Day 8


Fried Onion
Dear GG Member,

John the Janitor - AKA Mr Responsibility, is back.

I had some very upsetting news from Deedeemoe this morning. She contacted me on Skype and the transcript follows:

Deedeemoe: Are you there John?
John: Yes Dee.
Deedeemoe: I am so upset.
John: What's up buttercup?
Deedeemoe: Greedygirl died last night.
John: Huh?
Deedeemoe: Sorry, be right back. The phone is ringing.
John: Dee, are you serious???
John: Dee, are you back?
John: Speak to me Dee.
John: How did it happen?
John: I am stunned. I can't believe it. I was only talking to her yesterday.
John: Dee? You there?
John: What caused her to die all of a sudden like that?
Deedeemoe: Sorry, my sister was phoning me about what we are doing for Christmas.
John: How did she die?
Deedeemoe: Who died?
John: Greedygirl.
Deedeemoe: When?
John: How the hell do I know? You told me that Greedygirl died last night.
Deedeemoe. No I didn't!
John: You did too. Look up and read what you wrote.
Deedeemoe: Sorry, my bad. Was a typo. I meant to say Greedygirl lied last night.
John: Jeeze Louise! You almost gave me a heart attack.
Deedeemoe: Sorry. lol I am using a borrowed Russian keyboard and the letters are in different places.
Deedeemoe: I am upset with Greedygirl though. She promised me that she would go straight home to bed after having her back scanned at the hospital, but a mutual friend of ours told me he saw her in a bar drinking. She lied to me.

Between Deedeemoe and Greedygirl, and the Ball and Chain, and our two girls, and the Ball and Chains mother, and these French girls we have working in the garden, I am surely being driven insane.

Speaking of French girls. The one we have here at the moment has a reasonable grasp of English. She was showing the Ball and Chain a photo of her boyfriend. The Ball and Chain said he is very handsome. The French girl said, how you say? Pretty? I chimed in and said he is pretty and handsome just like me. The French girl looked at me and burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Apparently the fact that I thought I was handsome was the funniest thing this girl had ever heard of in either English or French.

In addition to the very disturbing Skype conversation above, Deedeemoe told me that Greedygirl had had a dizzy spell and a fall which knocked her out. I said to Deedeemoe that at Greedygirls age she wants to be very careful about falls. It could lead to hip replacement surgery. Deedeemoe said she believed that the fall was caused by the fact that Greedygirl was already halfway through her second bottle of gin for the day.

As Greedygirl lay unconscious on the floor, paramedics were called. On their arrival, one nice young paramedic lean't down to check Greedygirls pulse. It was at that very moment that Greedygirl regained consciousness. Not being one to miss an opportunity, Greedygirl grabbed the paramedic around the neck and forced him to give her the kiss of life. According to Deedeemoe, what happened during the kiss of life was just awful. Not only did Greedygirl suck out one of his fillings, her gin soaked breath caused him to become inebriated.

The last Deedeemoe heard, the paramedic had been stood down from his job for being drunk on duty.

Enjoy the attached GetLucky vouchers. As an added bonus, I have set the GG Horse Racing game to be played every 7 minutes instead of the usual 15 minutes.


John the Janitor

Here's the link to the Get Lucky Game:


Pickled Onion
Good Grief!

Good Grief!

John, John, John.......between Dee's faux pas brain fade, and you having a warped sense of amusing...i nearly choked on my coffee, At that moment, not funny, AT ALL! Lord, ...I gotta change my shirt now. lol.