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Pickled Onion
I figured in an effort to A) not bore members with this stuff each week or so in the newsletter and B) in the hopes of getting more members interested in the blogs (reading and/or writing 'em), I'd use the blog as a platform to tell you about what's happening with my upcoming nuptials.

As you can see by the title, it's not all that far off and the days seem to be speeding by. Unfortunately, the days may quickly pass, but getting things done for the wedding, well, not so much.

To give you an idea of what I'm up against, I'll fill you in on a few details...

Once I got into my 30's, I made a conscious decision I was NEVER going to get married. Never say never. Here I am, well, older than in my 30's and I'm planning my own wedding.

Joe and I are having a 'destination' wedding, if you can call Vegas a 'destination.' No, Elvis will NOT be performing the ceremony, however, this day is going to be as quirky as anyone can imagine. I can't speak to the actual venues or the structure of the day at this point (it's a well-guarded secret!), but I CAN tell you this wedding will be unlike any wedding you've ever heard about.

There will NOT be a lavish ballroom situation...there will NOT be a formal white Cinderella gown (I think I missed that virginal bride stage, many moons ago!)...there will NOT be some cheesy bridal band or d.j. playing "I Will Always Love You" or "Let's Get It On" (although I do love the latter song--just not at a wedding!)...there will NOT be a hoard of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Nope. This will be about as non-traditional as it gets.

While this may not be a traditional wedding, there is one big fat similarity: Costs! There WILL be a venue...there WILL be food...there WILL be flowers...there WILL be transportation issues...there WILL be a ridiculously over-priced cake...there WILL be guests that we'll need to pay for flights and hotel rooms for...and on and on and on. Oh yeah--and when it's over, it's likely there WILL be a bankruptcy attorney involved!

It's insane how quickly these costs are mounting. Joe has been absolutely wonderful about all this. Basically, his attitude about the ginormous costs was borne out of a necessity to not deal with my growing panic attacks every time I'd receive quotes relating to what we'll be needing. He simply gave me a credit card which has been designated solely for the wedding. He asks nothing...wants to know nothing...he simply wants to show up and get hitched.

Now for some brides (still can't wrap my head around calling myself a 'bride'!), this would be a dream scenario! Imagine! An open credit card with no one telling them they need to watch their spending! For me, it's a curse!

Knowing Joe is being so unbelievably kind and generous means I really DO have to mind my P's and Q's. If I go overboard, Joe will want to watch my spending like a hawk through the balance of my years on this planet. Conversely, if I cheap out on certain things and the wedding isn't as he's dreaming of (without articulating those dreams!), then Joe will think I'm lacking any ingenuity, creativity or common sense. I'm telling you, I'm walking a tightrope, here!

To top it off, with Joe's hands-off approach, means I'm literally receiving no real input. I'll give you a few examples:

Me: "Joe--what is your favorite flavor cake?"
Joe: "I dunno. I pretty much love 'em all."
Me: "Any you DON'T like?"
Joe: "Deb--I like 'em all. I don't dislike any."


Me: "Joe--do you have any color scheme that you'd like for the wedding?"
Joe: "Nope, not really."
Me: "Do you HAVE a favorite color?"
Joe: "Nope, not really."


Me: "Joe--is there a particular type of food you want served for the reception?"
Joe: "No, not really. You're better at this sort of thing than I am. You know I'll eat anything."


Now, I don't want anyone thinking Joe is disinterested, because that could not be further from the truth. The reality is that he realizes that he'd firstly, most likely get in the way than be of any real help and secondly, the costs would spiral out of control under his crazy visions.

Anyhow, for the next 111 days, you can count on updates of my panic, anxiety, feelings of overwhelm, blah, blah, blah.

With any luck, we'll ALL survive!


Pickled Onion
I didn't know the bride/groom PAID for "flying" everyone out and FOR for their hotels!

Ok, lemme be perfectly clear, here. We are paying for a few folks that are important to us who simply would not be able to afford to go without our assistance. In other words, no plane ticket for you, Jimbuck!

Make it zany but not so zany it is stupid but yet make it traditional enough everyone knows it is special day

Great advice, doc and the wedding itself will absolutely lean towards traditional (simply not in the most traditional venue). The reception part will still include the traditional components, however will be done in a most untraditional way.


You hit the nail on the head, Connie. I really didn't want to have a wedding at all (wanted to just elope and be done with it!), but Joe felt I'd later come to regret it and with his insistence, I gave in. Hopefully, I won't regret giving in!